Today was by far one of my WORST teaching days EVER!!!! This morning, I review similar questions from our 9 week DEA assessments that we will be taking at 1:30. I think the assessment will be easy for students. Our morning math journal questions come straight from the same format that is on the test. Students have done great with it. The tricky questions we have went in depth over how to correctly answer them! I am stoked because I know they know the information...... I am sure you can see where I am going with this post.
This afternoon, we go to the computer lab and get started on our assessment. My kids do HORRIBLE!!!!!! They can not answer the simplest questions. The ones that I assumed they would get without any trouble. I get so frustrated that I quit walking around to make sure everyone has answered the question before we go on to the next one. I literally about cry in the lab because I know they know the answer but for whatever reason they don't answer it right. We have been taking computer tests all year long, they know how to work the mouse, and how to listen to the question and click the answer they want....... SO why on earth are they missing these questions. I now know how the upper grade teachers feel with the dreaded state assessments that are given in April. The kids honestly don't care if they get the answer right or not. And now that teachers job's depend on getting good test scores, it makes me SICK. I am furious when we finish the test and head back to class. They can't walk in a line, they can't be quiet in the hallway, they can't sit at the rug where they were asked to go when they entered the classroom. Once I get everyone to the rug, I tell them how disappointed I am and that I had expected better. Yes my kids that did great look at me concerned, but the ones who bombed the test could care less about what I am talking about. I give up let them go to centers and snack. While I go back to report card testing. When it is time to clean up, they leave the room a mess, and most had forgot to eat snack, so they rush to get it. I take centers from them for the rest of the week. Luckily it is a short week, cause we have an early dismissal Thursday for Parent Teacher Conferences, and Friday we have NO SCHOOL!!!!
At the end of the day, I am so close to a breakdown tears and all, because I KNOW they can do better. They just don't want to. This is very scary to me, I mean they are in kindergarten, not an upper grade. If I can't get them to care in K, how in the world is it going to be when they do reach upper grades.
I want to contribute their behavior to our unreasonably warm temps (last day of winter and it's 82), and the fact that since returning to school in January we have had 3 days off. I know they are tired of each other, they can not work together, they tattle on everyone over the stupidest things, they are loud, they don't listen to me or any other teacher at school. I am at a loss on what to do with them. I want to believe that it's not just my class, and I am told it's not, every class is acting the same, but I am on the verge of a break down. NEVER in my 7 years of teaching did it actually come out of my mouth that I think I could QUIT! but today I actually said it to my assistant. How am I suppose to enjoy teaching when my students don't care, or won't even try. I love my job and I know that tomorrow will come and we will start a brand new day, I am just scared because tomorrow I take my Language Arts 9 week test in the computer lab. If I thought the math was going to be easy and they bombed it, I really am not looking forward to the language test. I am going be positive and hope for the best in the morning.
Sorry about my venting post. I feel somewhat better getting it off my chest. I know that I too am needing a break from my kiddos. At this time, I am counting down the days till the end of the year! Spring Break can not come soon enough. Too bad it's not till April 6th.